It’s the quirks…
I think we all have a Quirk Acceptance Level. Mine was a little high until recently.
Getting through a first date without focusing on how a guy chews with his mouth open, texts incessantly while continually saying “No, keep going, I’m listening”, talks too much about his career, kids, dog, golf, politics, money, etc.… is impossible.
Too many quirky moments too fast equals no future.
I will now recap of a recent first date of mine:
So, “Louis” picked me up five minutes early (5:55) and opened the car door for me. Nice beginning. We decided to go to a local watering hole. All was well until I went to the tinkle room and came back to find Louis the Lover with his shirt pulled almost over his head showing a younger lady a tattoo of his children’s names in Chinese on his upper back.
Um…. What???
I had a nice local IPA and chilled for a minute before reacting.
His kids’ names are Robert, John and Emma-Lynn. Do single Chinese characters actually exist for these names? Bizarre. (Quirks #1 & 2: Random partial nudity in a public place and a very questionable tattoo.)
I tried to see past the de-shirting occurrence. “Give him the benefit of the doubt” I thought… For the love of Pete. I now know that doubt should never be benefitted.
We left the pub and headed for sushi. But then, out of nowhere, Louis decided that we needed to stop for another libation before supper. We walked into the bar and ran into a friend of his named Buffy. Ughhh… I had to carry on a conversation with her and her cray cray boyfriend for longer than a nun should be punished for losing her virginity.
I ended up getting cornered in the bathroom by Buffy, who was somehow under the impression that I have an affinity for over-the-hill, platinum blonde, leather skinned, chain-smoking women. The amount of kissy faces coming at me while I was trying to escape haunts me to this day. It wasn’t okay… or pretty. Oh lawdy, I had to duck and weave to get away.
I ran to the safety of a bar stool and immediately had a shot of Fireball. Ah, the burn felt so good.
Not necessarily his fault… But, it happened under his watch. Super duper awkward attempt at girl-on-girl action. (Quirks #3 & 4: His need to stop for a 4th cocktail before dinner and having sketchy, bi-curious, and HUNGRY cougars as friends.)
We got to the sushi bar and I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t realized it before… but (….OMG….) I was on a date with the (self-proclaimed) Mayor of Charleston! He was kissing faces, shaking hands, laughing way too loud, infringing upon others’ personal space and telling ridiculously long stories while listeners’ eyes wandered and silently pleaded with him to shut the hell up. I was blushing for him, and for me too, because I was the one out on the date this bozo. Guilty by association.
I finally ate some sushi and drank some apple sake. The sake made him a teeny more tolerable… for a short time.
He’s a self-absorbed narcissist who needs to feel important at all costs. He’s a time leech who also has the ability to suck the desire for a second date right out of a gal. (Quirks 5, 6 & 7: Lives in his own bubble, needy and insecure.
We left the sushi bar. On the way back he suggested one more stop. I said that we should stop for ice cream or a dessert of sorts. I guess I was a little too vague on the “of sorts” part. He pulled into a strip club parking lot.
What???? There was no way I could have ever anticipated that.
I had to put my heel down at that point.
This creep already had 7 quirks in the bucket. He added the 8th and the bucket runneth over.
Drop da mic.
My new Quirk Acceptance Level = 2.
-Leslie
KHALL Me Crazy 